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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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But somehow, we recover. I don’t even know how. We’re back on track, and I’m pushin’ her harder than ever. We cross the finish line, and I’m like, “Did we win?” Turns out, we did! I’m jumpin’ up and down, and the crowd’s goin’ wild.

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